Emma asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

I dont know what to do ?

I am living with my mom and she's emotionally abusive and I can't move out right now, but she's making me feel like I wouldn't be a disappointment if I was dead. I have some supportive people in my life, but I have to listen to my mom bring me up and feel like she's changed and the next she she says something that just takes back everything she says. And she always says she's disappointed in me. Which I take that as she's just thinks I a disappointment whatever I do. I just I dont want her in my life, but people say thats not fair and that her parents weren't good to her either. I just dont know what to think anymore.  I guess my question is should I get her out of my life, keep her in my life, or just distance myself from her, but let her see her future grandchildren.

Update:

I am only 17 i have 5 more months left. And I know I am making a big decision but I have been dealing with this for 17 years and she has never changed. I only have her as a parent. And I am talking to theapist I just am so confused I wanted outsiders opinion Idk. I am sorry for taking your guys time ill probably delete this soon idk..anyways thank you for answering..

7 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    You know why don't you create some fun at home to make the house feel lively? You know some people in class jut are funny people who can crack jokes easily or just make people laugh and have fun? Try it. Make it your homework to find out what makes her happy and makes her laugh. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    contact the police and children,s protective service.

  • Carmen
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    Hello concerned one when there is a problem with people you can’t always remove the problem just the people do the same with your mom if that’s what you feel you need to do. Only you know her medical physical mental state of mind to determine if she is acting like she is as mentioned because of past incidents in her life. Pray over matter before making a decision you might can’t reverse as easily. Take some deep breaths pray for a calm heart and peace of mind. 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    maybe you should talk to someone in cps about it

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  • 2 months ago

    Why can't you move out? How old are you? Please write again? You are trying to make long term decisions as well as short term, e.g., future grand childrens' visits with your mother. Play this one by ear. Your most important priority, immediately, is to take care of yourself. You can also seek supportive counseling, even on line.  Do know that even if you can't leave right now, you will and should, in the future. Meanwhile, be your own best friend, you sure need one! Good wishes,

  • 2 months ago

    First off, you need to know that you aren't a disappointment in life, don't feed into your Mom's negativity about things! You need to choose to believe in yourself, and that you deserve a lot better than the abusive behaviour she is heaping on you, you have done NOTHING to warrant this.

    Secondly, it sounds like your Mother is a broken woman herself! She likely suffers from very low self esteem issues herself, thus, it makes her feel bigger and more powerful when she lashes out at others. It also sounds like your Mom is repeating the same conflict approaches/problem solving skills that her parents taught her, she was taught that its OK to name call and belittle others in an attempt to problem solve.

    Only you can make the choice to keep her in or out of your life.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    If you're an adult it certainly sounds like it's time to try to move out. 

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