Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

Should I do this crazy thing for 'love' ?

I (26y.o.) live in Europe and I have fallen in love with my housemate with whom we have been dating for a couple of months. I knew they were going to leave the place soon to go back to their home country (brazil), so everything started like a sort of friends with benefits kind of thing, but then I truly fell in love (the other one however didnt do as much). Since I have no problem in moving (I can do smart working with zero problems, and the hour difference wouldnt affect it), I was planning to go there for a month in january (find a place on my own) and see how things would go.

I know they dont love me, but I also believe that there are some chances for it (At least I have seen some signs in the past weeks). I believe love is not an instant thing and that time and spending time together is of the utmost importance.. and I really want to fight for this.

I never fell so hard for anyone in my entire life, that is why I am willing to do it. I also have always been a very rational person, always going for the solution with maximum profit and minimum loss. Doing this would be SO MUCH NOT LIKE ME. And I feel so excited and alive about it... but at the same time scared (what if they dont want to see me?).

So internet... I seek your help: should I do it?

1 Answer

  • Merry
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You are attracted to the idea of love - the thrill of them loving you too & securing something that you thought was unattainable. 

    The idea of going to Brazil, of your feelings being reciprocated, is creating romantic notions that may be best addressed by actually speaking with your housemate. 

    Friends with benefits is great but when you start dreaming of holidays in a different country and turning up on their doorstep it's probably time to take the leap and see whether any of what you feel is shared by them. 

    A simple - "I have been thinking about traveling in January. I will miss you when you leave & wondered what you'd think about me visiting you in Brazil?" 

    Their response might give you some indication of whether or not turning up on their doorstep is a good idea or not! 

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