Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingTrying to Conceive · 2 months ago

38 want a baby?

My husband and I have been waiting to have a baby we have only been together a year and I never wanted kids but he does. I want to wait as long as possible to have one because I just don't think I need to rush, what's the point in rushing if we can still have baby for many many years. I'm ok being 45 with baby if I can. Is it okay to wait that long or will birth affects occur?

I don't know anything about making a baby besides sex. I don't know what to do to track baby stuff. I feel like im not a real adult yet and want to wait. 

7 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    I think if you want baby you should start trying now. 

  • 1 month ago

    Well, We waited to have a baby for perfect conditions. When we finally started we saw a fertility doctor and found hubby was infertile. Then he shortly divorced me. I was 43. We were married 15 years. Then I married a man that already had 2 children and was snipped. So, here I am 53 yrs old now. And regretting every decision I made. It's too late for me. I hope this is not what your future holds. You never know what road blocks you may incur. Don't wait until the last minute. 

  • 2 months ago

    Just steal one. 

  • 2 months ago

    Being older can raise the risks of birth defects, there is also this to consider, the longer you wait the older you will be when the child reached milestones and you might be too old or too sick to appreciate them, or dead the the child will get married with no parents, or graduate college with no parents and whatnot, I would feel guilty knowing that I did that deliberately.  I had my child at 40 and worry about that.

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  • 2 months ago

    i was a grandpa at 38, cant comprehend being a parent

  • Rick
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    To me, the determining factor here is that you two have only been married for one year.  That`s not long enough to make a decision like this one. Too many one parent families start out like this.  The health advisability re. the age by which you should have your first baby can only be answered by yourself, and your trusted doctor.  Your doctor may suggest that you see an Ob/Gyn for a more specialized opinion.  You, and your relatively new husband, should sit down and make a nice, calm, realistic, common sense plan. Then, never be afraid to change the plan, as long as it makes complete sense to both of you!  Starting a family truly is the biggest life changer that you guys will likely ever make.  Gobs of it are good, but some of it can be not so good. You just can`t know.  That said, I wish I could go back in time to help raise by 2 children and 4 grandchildren again so I could pay a hell of a lot more attention to what was going on.  I think I was a good father.  My wife of 56 years agrees, but I could have (should have) been so much better.  Best of everything to you both. 

  • 2 months ago

    You do know that at some point, you’re going to reach menopause which means you’ve ran out of eggs. You’re only given so many eggs and once it’s gone, it’s gone. 

    Age affects the embryo. It’s like a fruit. You want it fertilize at its peak. Fertilize it too early and it’s still a little undeveloped. Fertilize it too late and it’s too ripe. 

    When you’re young, you don’t have much experience, knowledge, or maturity to be a mother so it can be overwhelming. You’re also not financially set so you might not have enough money to take good care of the baby. 

    When you’re old, you have the financial stability and knowledge to be a great mother but you don’t have the stamina to keep up with the baby so the baby may not get all the attention that it needs. 

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