Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureHolidaysRamadan · 1 month ago

Islam: Parents Trauma affecting kids ?

Salam, my mother has severe depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder. And she shows all the signs of emotional immature parenting. My father is not as worse but also can be considered emotionally immature. He and my mother had a very toxic marraige for 20 years, and he secretly wedded someone else three years ago. Since she is mentally unstable this news made her unhinged and though they are technically divorced and live seperately they still speak everyday and have massive fights about his second wife though it takes an immense mental and emotional toll on my mother she still keeps this cycle up and has for 3 years. There are 5 siblings from age 14-27 and it has taken an emotional toll on all of us especially during the pandemic as she has a tendency to take her frustrations out on us. She and my father also care very little about our emotional wellbeing and only ever talk about their own. I feel stressed because my mother is convinced we will all leave her & no one will take care of her when she is old. When my second eldest brother said he wishes to move out bc our circumstance is negatively affecting him and we live in a much too small home for us she cried multiple times and pretends to leave is to be bad children. She is convinced we will all leave her to pursue our own lives and there will be no one to take care of her. And that none of her sons wives will take the duty to be her maid. We all have depression and she makes it worse. 

Update:

I know we have a duty to take care of our parents but she makes it sound like she will need 24 hour care but in that instance getting a caretaker is to neglect her. 

I dont know what the future will look like and due to the state of my homelife I dont know when or if ill be married, if ill have kids, if ill have a job all regular things and on top of that provide her with the type of care she expects. 

Update 2:

More information on emotionally immature parents: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1626251703/ref=cm_sw_r...

Update 3:

@ anonymous I hope you see this. Cant you use the half braincell that you have to even infer that someone is asking for advice. Lmao

2 Answers

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  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    Leaving to pursue your career and life does not mean that the kids will abandon her in her old age. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    That's a very unfortunate situation, and you have my sympathy. Did you have a question?

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