Anonymous asked in HealthDiseases & ConditionsCancer · 1 month ago

My cancer is spreading ... it feels like I’m in shock?

Hi, I found out about 2 weeks ago that my cancer is spreading :( when they told me I cried and sobbed in the doctors office. I have a rare type of cancer that is hard to treat and they are going to try from to keep from spreading...I remember I had a really bad day that day I cried all day and 3 days ago I had a really bad panic attack and I cried and sobbed. I haven’t been able to sleep well ever since 2 weeks ago. I also feel there is a part of me in denial that hasn’t processed it... when I first found out i had cancer i was torn crying daily almost wanted to kill myself and was very depressed. Now it’s like since the day I found out i haven’t allowed myself to accept it spreading and have kept it all inside I don’t want to think about it, i feel I’m in denial but not... is it possible to be in denial or just emotionally detached? I’m on a waitlist for therapy ... my future is uncertain


I can't think like that... I can't accept it... i just can't

Update 2:

you people suck! no compassion except for thinking time, thank you!

5 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    You are reacting that way because emotions are not purely and exclusively attached to reactions to your environment. Your brain is also "hard-wired" to be set to a certain thermostat of happiness. When something very bad happens, eventually, you will reach homeostasis again, and go back to a baseline level of happiness. This has been documented with people who learn they have a terminal illness; eventually they accept it. Also, with people who lose a limb; eventually they learn how to live with it, and find happiness from a whole new angle. You still need more time to grieve the loss of your health. And you could be detached and in denial. 

    Here are the 7 stages of grief:

    1. Shock and denial. This is a state of disbelief and numbed feelings.

    2. Pain and guilt. ...

    3. Anger and bargaining. ...

    4. Depression. ...

    5. The upward turn. ...

    6. Reconstruction and working through. ...

    7. Acceptance and hope.

  • 1 month ago

    If you are sobbing and crying then you are hardly in denial or emotionally detached.

    It is good you are getting professional help to deal with your emotions at this time.

    Grief in various stages is normal for all of us diagnosed with cancer. How we deal with that is as individual as we all are.

    It does not souls like you are dealing well.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Okay this is time to face reality. 

    What you need to do is accept what you have. It is okay to have faith but at the end of the day what you have is in your body.

    Which is why you are wasting your life by being depressed and sad over something that you cannot change. You can manage it with chemo but it’s gonna be a tough road. 

    So, you need to be strong mentally and put a brave face on because like I said what you have in your body is not your fault. You didn’t ask for it but you can surely show it who is boss by not letting the rest of your days CRYING over it. There is a little motto that I heard a long time ago and I believe everyone should follow it. 

    “Just live the moment.” Every single person does not have their present granted. A young adult can simply walk across the street, get hit by a car, and die — without an illness — it was just a tragic accident. No one knows what the future holds for us. So, don’t get sad of “what if I die soon” because you are just letting your days go to the trash when you can make memorable memories with your family. 

    Everyone dies. It’s part of life. We just don’t know when and if every single person focuses on when it can happen then that leads to anxiety and panic. Like I said, a young person could die tomorrow or today as I write this from a freak accident that they did not imagine would happen. 

    So don’t be in denial, accept what you have, and live your life as normally and happy. I’m sure you are loved by so many people. 

    Make plans to the beach/picnics, seek therapy to have someone to talk to, join cancer groups, talk to God if you’re religious, etc. 

    I don’t know you but I want to tell you that I care about your well-being. I’m 18 and I had my own fair share of panic attacks and worrying about the future or my health. What you need to do is focus on your own mentally well-being. I know you got this. Take care 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    That's life get over it. I suffered a pulmonary embolism a few years ago and know have some permanent lung damage because of it. Honestly, i hope i die before needing an oxygen tank. 

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  • Kieth
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Tell the ones you love that you love them, make the plans for your funeral yourself, accept what your destiny is, and depart with dignity.

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