Do messy people ever really change?

Question

Friend wants to be roommates, love them to death, but they are messy. Dishes sitting in the sink to the point of bugs living in them, empty food containers everywhere, and piles of pet hair all over the floor. 

Friend swears if we lived together that would change, but I don’t think so. Any place they have lived in has been a mess. 

Any experience with this? Can someone that is messy change and maintain cleanliness? 

I don’t want to have to nag a roommate especially one I’m friends with to clean. Overall I’m thinking my answer will be no to moving in together. 

Answer 1

Nope, they don't. They might get a little less messy though. If you are a neat freak, I wouldn't live with friend.

Answer 2

roomies with goat tendencies oughta be in hygiene   jail

never works out,,they are modern devolved species,,,w caveman genes

Answer 3

I'll be straight with you...NEVER go into business or become room mates with anyone that you wouldn't be okay with removing from your life. Those two things have killed more friendships than anything else. If you value them at all, don't do it. You'll learn all of their bad habits, and they'll see all of yours. I am by no means a clean freak, but after I shared a place with a few buds years ago, I learned what the true meaning of "disgusting slob" was. Hair in the tub and sink, and I don't mean a little, and what does it take to clean it, 3 seconds? CLEAN THE DAMNED SINK OUT ! Dishes piled to the ceiling, they never made a bed or picked up their dirty clothes, sleeping on the couch, friends sleeping on the couch, cars blocking you in, cops in the driveway when you get home, and not to mention the food, beer, cereal, etc. that magically "disappeared"? Nobody takes the trash out, nobody knows where a grocery store is? There is nothing cooler than coming home late at night and all the lights and stereo are on, the door is unlocked, and nobody is there? Always late with the rent money, utility bill money, stuff spilled (mystery liquid) on the floor, I could go on and on. Looking back, I'd rather be poor and have my own place than have a few extra bucks and live in the "animal house" again. Honestly, I'm no clean freak, but when you have to hold your breath when you walk past someones bedroom, there's a problem. They may change, but I doubt its on their own? Either you are raised properly, or you're not.

Answer 4

Messy people like your friend only change when they lose something valuable to them because of their messiness.  If you move in with this person, you will be constantly nagging. Don't think otherwise. I'd say no. And tell them why. 

Answer 5

It is in their upbringing.  Where you see a mess they see organization. That is how their mind works.  You can't change that.

Answer 6

If this person swears he would change, give him a chance to prove it. Tell him if he can k eep his place neat and clean for two months, you'll consider letting him move in with you.

Answer 7

They will only change if they want to change.

A few years back, one of my grand daughters decided to allow her best friend to move in (to share a 2-bdrm. apartment).  Once the friend moved in..............my grand daughter began to realize the friend was messy and expected my grand daughter to pick up after her, etc.  She finally asked her friend why she did things this way and the friend told her "my mother always picked up after me and I never had to put anything away or pick up after myself".  Well, my grand daughter asked her to move out because she was not about to be like her friend's mom and 'mother' her.  My grand daughter grew up being responsible for the messes she created.  To this day, I'm not sure if the two are still friends or not.

Answer 8

i think they are....

Answer 9

nope , why have you got a fixation on cleanliness .

Answer 10

You both set rules for the apartment. What happens when they don’t follow through? 

Tell them once you see that they want to keep their own place clean, tidy and organized THEN you can discuss moving in together. Change first, then be roommates.