Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

I just got divorced 6 months ago and it's hard to picture life without my husband.  Is it normal to want to be single forever?

After being with someone for 11 years it's so hard to start over.  We just made so many memories together and everybody says the memories will fade but i doubt it.I'm 38 so it's not like i have a ton of options anyways. most men and women are already married to the ones they want to be with and the. After my recent divorce no men look attractive to me and I don't even want to hang out with men casually. My girl friends even try to get me out but every place, every food, everything reminds me of him. We sweared to each other we would be friends forever. It's hard to have him in my life as a friend but i think it would be harder to cut him off completely with having our long history. Everybody says im not healing with him still in my life but he still wants me in his life and our families still mesh well together.  I'm pretty sure my ex husband is already over me, he seems so happy with his life and already has a woman he's steady dating.  How do men get over this so much faster? We didn't divorce because of anything serious. We just couldn't get past all the arguing everyday for 11 years straight.  Every conversation was an argument because we have nothing in common and we realized we making each other miserable so we pulled the plug. It's crazy because even though we don't work well together I would still get back with him in a heart beat if he wanted that. I just feel like I want to be single forever. 

7 Answers

  • tony
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    like death,take it one day at a time, there does come a time u must move on and forward.It's hard to let go someone you really love, but it's necessary and sometime you'll find it was the correct thing to do, to keep on moving. 

     If your ex was stupid enough to leave you, you have to be smart enough to let them go. It's difficult, but after a while, you have to remember that you want to be with someone who is in love with you, and wants to be with you -not someone you've shared great memories with, but doesn't want to be with you. 

  • 1 month ago

    sounds like you are a loser.  No one would want you.  Just try wearing lots of make up, wear tight clothes and being more confident with your sexuality.  At least you will have a use - be good for something.  Men/women will use you for sex and you know that you are wanted, nothing wrong with that.  It is pleasure, fun and excitement.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    My mom never had a bf or husband, never dated, had me through a fertility clinic she is now 98 and she said it was the best decision, she said probably that is why she is making it so long!!!

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You don't argue because you have nothing in common.  There would be nothing to argue about.  Males DON'T get over a divorce any more quickly.  There is lots of research into that.  Men tend to have a need for female companionship so he has accepted that.  Your divorce, like so many, was for the wrong reasons.  You just didn't find how to relate without argument.  I have my suspicions about why that is.  You don't even want to be single because you would get back to your ex husband if you had the chance.

    One friend of mine found that they could be friends, even lovers, if they didn't live together.  The conflict was from living together and each wanting things THEIR way.  Living separately meant they could have things their way and meet as honoured guests rather than as competitors.  It may be too late but if it isn't you need to think about what relationship WOULD have worked for both of you.

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  • 1 month ago

    Although you are legally divorced and physically separated from your ex-husband, everything you said points to the fact that you are still emotionally married to him.

    There’s no way to entertain a new relationship until you decide the previous one is actually over.

    Let me pull some phrases out of what you wrote and look at them next to each other:

    “no men look attractive to me”

    “everything reminds me of him”

     “I would still get back with him in a heart beat”

    That doesn’t sound like someone ready for new experiences.

    Sometimes simply listening to ourselves is enough to make a breakthrough.  I hope this helps.

  • CB
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I didn't read the entire diatribe but you are in such a sweet part of your life right now that you will certainly: 1. Learn from you past mistakes 2. Do a much better job of vetting your next love, 3 likely realize what frigging waste the first 11 years were. 

    Been there done that (even though I am a male). I have had more fun (with new wife) since I turned 40 than all the years before (10 yrs with 1st wife)....going on 25 years now. I am a firm believer in "when one door closes another one opens and it is often a MUCH better door".

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    So is your entire question "Is it normal to want to be single forever", or are you asking us something else? I mean if all you're asking us is whether that desire is typical or not, it's easy to answer. Is that all you're asking?

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