David asked in HealthMental Health · 1 month ago

My partner drinks and has depression and I have made it worse - please help ?

A few weeks ago my partner, who has depression, drank a lot of alcohol and the next morning told me they felt suicidal and wanted help. I promised I would help them through it. 

Last night they drank a bottle of wine and wanted more. When I said this wasn't a good idea they told me I was judging them and they were tired of being judged. I got upset by this and said I wasn't being judgemental and didn't appreciate being accused of it. 

This morning I apologized for seeming judgemental and tried to explain it wasn't judgement, but worry. I said the things they told me a few weeks ago really concerned me and when they wanted more alcohol I was worried about them. 

They are now saying that I am using their depression against them and they feel worse than ever. That they should just be alone and will never trust me again. 

I don't know what to do. Should I have said nothing? Am I being controlling? I'm so scared of losing them now as they are pushing me away. 

Please help. 

3 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You can't handle this on your own and you're not your partner's therapist.  If he's "pushing me away," perhaps it's time to move on, for your own mental health.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    time to dump him . 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Alcohol is a depressant, so if a person is already depressed they know what to expect.  People with depression can be difficult to live with, can't they? By its very nature, the focus is usually on their own feelings which can make it very difficult to empathise with the feelings of others. 

    You aren't judging her, are you? You simply want what is best for her because you love her. Emotionally she finds it difficult to accept that, due to her very low self esteem. your job is to try to develop her self confidence.

    I sometimes recommend that people with depression find some sort of voluntary type work, which can help them with a deeper sense of their own value. 

    Good Luck!

    Source(s): Coach@jamforlife.co.uk
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