Florine asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 month ago

Friend advice?

One of my friends is going through a rough time because her parents are in the process of separating.  I've been checking in on her because I care, and trying to distract her (partly because she didn't really want to open up about it) by talking about what we normally talk about.

I didn't hear from her for a few days and I got kind of busy by myself and did some fun things, but I literally just got a text from her saying:

"I'm sorry I haven't been texting you as much. I'm just going through a really difficult time, and your Instagram story for some reason made me feel down even though it was not your fault. I just needed a break. I'm sorry." 

To clarify, my Instagram story was an old picture of my mom and dad in college that I posted for my mom's birthday a few days ago. I guess seeing my parents together made her upset. Now, I feel really badly, but  my intention wasn't to brag that my parents are really in love. 

I'm really confused by her message. I've started to draft a response, but I could use some help. My older sister thinks it's a good sign that she was honest and wants to talk to me again, but I'm not sure what to say in response. 

4 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Just explain that you didn't mean to upset her. Eventually she'll realize that other people aren't going to stop living their lives just because she got crappy parents. It sounds like she already somewhat recognizes it's irrational for her to blank others just because they're not going through the exactly what she's going through. 

  • 1 month ago

    Show your empathy that you too sometimes need some alone time or how you can just get busy doing other things.  That ends the issue she is apologizing for, and allows you to change subjects to more entertaining things.

  • 1 month ago

    Explain to her that while this upheaval is gong on in her Life, there are other things going on in your LIfe. (Use the present tense so she can begin to understand that you have a Life that continues, while she may be crying on deep sorrow.   Then list about three of things you are dealing with right now.  Toward the end of the letter, you should mention you received her letter and that you never even thought there was any connection with your parent photo because the whole celebration was about them.  You could then say, it would have been nice to have her experience this whole adventure with you.  Also, if this shock she is dealing with effects her in other ways, or with other people, she may need to speak with a counselor.  Offer to help her find one for her.  Find out as much as you can about the problems she or her parents are going through, so you may be able to help her in any way possible. 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i dont think you did anything wrong

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