Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Torn about moving..?

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year now since  last February, half of this has been long distance as he moved 7 hours away with his family in August . We are 18 and 19, I made the plan to move to where he lives 6 months ago when he left, now that it’s coming close to moving ( 3 weeks ) and we are trying to get our appt, I don’t want to go. My whole family is here and I’m extremely close with my mom and grandparents.  I’ve grown up here, I love my job. He keeps saying it was my idea to move and it was, I know that. But I’m scared, I always wanted to live near my family and have my kids grow up around them. He said if it came down to an ultimatum with me, he would move here. But I don’t want to be that person to give an ultimatum. I so badly wish I could have him, and live here. I’m scared if I bring up again that I want to live here, that he won’t end up coming or if he does that we will argue and he may hold a grudge. Starting a new job really really gives me anxiety as I’m very shy and quiet and it’s hard to do new things. I have felt really down and depressed trying to figure out what to do, my mom keeps telling me to stay, my boss really wants me too as well. But I love this boy, and I feel like no matter what choice I make it’s wrong and I will regret it. Apartment leases are atleast 6 months what if I get homesick and am stuck there.. I really don’t want to lose him either.

anyone have advice or been through something like this before? :(

2 Answers

  • T J
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    He does not want you

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I think that the first thing you need to decide is whether you have legitimate desire to stay where you currently are or if these feelings are a result of you having cold feet. One thing that you need to keep in mind is that it is perfectly normal to have anxiety about moving as it often is a massive lifestyle change. With regards to how your boyfriend will respond, I think that if he truly loves you then he will have your best interests at heart and understand your feelings. I think he will also acknowledge the fact that it is a perfectly normal for people to change their minds. Hence, it is unlikely that he will hold any grudges against you. One last thing to remember is that both you and your boyfriend have managed to have a successful relationship so far and that it is not impossible to keep doing what you are doing at present. I really hope this helps :)

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