M asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 month ago

Was I too harsh in my reply to a manager?

At work, there is a public event we are doing this upcoming Saturday.  I was made aware of it earlier today.  My boss got an email from the event manager this morning saying "please make sure Mike (me) is available and in attendance this Saturday."  


I do not report to the event manager, nor does he have any authority over me.  He is just in charge of the event.  Weekend public events are not something that would be expected of me.   My boss said to me "If you are available, please try and attend.  If not, don't worry about it since this is so short notice, but let the event manager know either way"


I let the event manager know that I am not available.  He wrote back and said "We really need you there, as this is an important event and your expertise is needed.  This event has been on the books for 3 months"  


I wrote back "I was only made aware of this event today.  If my presence was as necessary as you say it is, then I should have been made aware of it 3 months ago - not at the last minute."


The event manager asked "What plans do you have that you can't easily cancel?"


I said "I am busy.  That is all you need to know.  In the future, if you need me for something important, you need to let me know well in advance.  This is especially true for events taking place on weekends or after hours."



My boss was not the one who asked me to do this event.  I already went far out of my way to make that clear.

Update 2:

Bluebelbkk - Yes, I told you the full story.  I included a very detailed description.  Not sure why you added that line.

Update 3:

drip - You acknowledge that it was rude for the manager to ask me if I can cancel my plans.  So wouldn't a rude question warrant a less rude reply?

9 Answers

  • Cas
    Lv 4
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    Your answer was very appropriate. The event manager went too far when he said "what plans do you have that you can't change?"  It was rude for him to ask you at the last minute anyway.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

     if you're begging said question than likely it's so zjqkp

     . . . . . . . . . .


  • drip
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Your line “That’s is all you need to know” was rude and should not have been used for a work issue. I would not of responded to the question at all. It was a ride question to ask you man’s didn’t warrant a response or for you to repeat yourself.     Your point was to be informed in a timely manner. 

    You could of started your responds with “If you need me

  • 1 month ago

    A little.  All was well and good in your communication with the event manager until your last message.  You got impatient with his refusal to accept you weren't coming and could have worded it better or simply not responded at all considering all that needed to be said was communicated.  The event manager was baiting you into an argument and you took the bait.  But in doing so you didn't necessarily cross any lines of decorum either, thus I don't think you need to worry about it.  But still, good question.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    If what you report is complete and accurate, no, you weren't. I'm impressed (not that I know everything, but I was much further into my work life when I learned to respond the way you did) that you didn't cave to the question about what plans you had and couldn't cancel. When someone is manipulating in such a way, pretty much anything you say is going to be twisted and turned.

    I don't know what your work situation is and what the relationship with your manager is, but if you can, it may be in your good interest to bring this up when you have your status meeting. Perhaps say something to the effect of, "Thank you for recognizing that I may not have been available to work that Saturday; I really appreciate it. Never the less, I'm a bit apprehensive about the event manager's demands and any subsequent repercussions." 

  • 1 month ago

    You answered quite reasonably yet firmly.  You might have omitted "That's all you need to know," in order to be very polite [and more polite than the event manager].  It is not polite to ask you why you can't come, of course.  All you have to do is repeat that you can't.  

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i wouldve just came to the event

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If you have told us the whole story, then your reply was not unreasonable.

  • Matt
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    your boss may be doing this because he plans on surprising you with a raise, which you may have already screwed that up

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