Did he break up with me and how do I save our relationship (aspergers)?

So my boyfriend has aspergers and has a lot to deal with. He became so depressed he needs a lot of counseling. I haven't seen him for almost two months because he's not well and ashamed and doesn't want to pull me into what he calls a snake pit. We live a 1,5 h drive apart and at first we still called and he told me how much he longed for me. He said his parents would disown him if he left and he was thinking of an escape plan. It's all very strange and it has been hard for me to grasp. Because this was all new to me I wanted to communicate with him, keep calling or text from time to time, but he was always angry or sleeping. We tried giving each other space. Then when I texted once if I could do anything he answered in a rude way the way asperger people do. That he just wanted to work. He knew I was sick of worrying and I became a bit upset, so maybe I answered in a bit of a nagging and disappointed way. Of course he got angry.., sent me "good luck" and turned off his phone. I was devastated and texted if he had just broken up with me and that my heart was broken, because i never did anything to him. He thinks that giving space is the same as putting someone in the freezer...  Now I'm depressed of the thought that he would break up me, I barely eat. He does have a crucial deadline this week, so I am scared of bothering him. On the other hand, I am dying to talk things out. Yet I feel like he should take initiative now? What should I do? How do I save my relationship?

2 Answers

  • Ashley
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    Hun I think it’s better you break up with HIM. This is not love. If he is depressed, he needs to figure his life out on his own. People that are truly interested in a relationship do not shut their partners out when they feel that way. You deserve better. You deserve someone that doesn’t put you in an episode of depression yourself. Try and move on from him and if he comes back around, don’t look back. He can’t handle his emotions correctly which is a huge sign he is emotionally unavailable. 

  • James
    Lv 5
    4 weeks ago

    Sometimes it's only one person who wants to put in the effort to talk things out. If he wants the space you gotta give it to him. You can't force someone to love you no matter how much you love them back. You have done just about everything you can you may just have to move on

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