Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 month ago

How do I get over this?

I was minding my own business walking down the street. I was already worried and a little stressed out because I was heading for a job interview. All of a sudden I felt a uncomfortably, cold stare from the right side of my face. As I was walking past they straight up called me ugly just loud enough so I could hear it with a racial slur all in one go. Some other person was standing next to him, laughing. I don't know these people and I didn't do anything to them. 

I can't explain it in words but it hurt me in a sort of existential way. Am I not allowed to exist because I am not white and look 'ugly'?

(In fact I am mixed race, half white and even at home, I have to listen to racist comments not just about myself but about everyone who isn't white.)


@OTTO, it's rude to make a comparison of someone's pain. It's like saying that such abuse is no big deal. That it wasn't abuse. Well it is abuse, racism and discrimination and it's never okay. It's disgusting. You may not feel anything about it because it didn't happen to you. If it were you, you'd be hurting. You should have empathy for every level of pain.

Update 2:

Psychological pain can be as bad as physical pain or even worse because it doesn't always go away over time.

6 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    I think you need to grow a tough hide so that the comments from these 'nothing' people don't hurt you.  People can be cruel.  I bet if this guy was by himself he wouldn't have said what he did.  He felt powerful with his sidekick right there.  Racism has gotten out of control since this BLM movement.  It has been blown completely out of proportion & very very nasty.

  • 1 month ago

    You are in a difficult position in that people assign so much importance to colour. These are ignorant people who don't understand that we are one humanity. Diversity accounts for the enjoyment of all. We are an integrated species.

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  • 1 month ago

    In my experience, mixed race people tend to be more attractive than their "pure" counterparts. Ignore it; those people aren't worth being stressed over

  • 1 month ago

    Getting over abuse is never easy. For context, I am an older white male so I've never experienced the kind of abuse you have.

    But I have lead a life of privilege partly because of my race and gender in a culture dominated by white males. I very firmly believe that EVERYONE deserves the same opportunities as I was given. That only makes us stronger as a society.

    While I can't offer an easy way to get past this, perhaps you will feel some comfort in knowing that when people behave like this, there is an element of fear and uncertainty in their conduct. Whether they can acknowledge or even know it is there, they are fearful of losing their power and uncertain of their superiority. Many will deny this loudly and can even present a greater danger.

    But even if you have to be wary and cautious of the potential real danger, it is ultimately their problem as well as weak and ignorant, not yours.

    In the end, WE who believe in justice  & equality for all will prevail.

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  • OTTO
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Self worth lives within you. It is not the property of strangers you do not know. Ruby Bridges endured much worse. She prayed for her tormentors, but it wasn't easy. Find the place within that can endure all that is hurled at you.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    They’re just jerks you’ll never see again. Don’t bother yourself with what strangers think. If a stranger wants to be a jerk, just flip them off and keep walking. Who gives a crap what they think. 

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