Why can't I get turned on if i'm not being treated bad?

Question

I don't really understand this so I thought I should ask people on here because SOMEONE must know. I'm only attracted to people who treat me bad sexually and I don't get turned on unless they hurt and degrade me? I don't understand why I'm only turned on by things like pain, shame and degrading actions or words. There must be a reason? Like a psychological reason behind it? Something must have made me this way, right?

Answer 1

Favorite Answer

Right. The first question I would ask you is, how did your father treat you when you were young? My guess is that he was abusive to you. 

Young children who are abused get confused. The most important thing for them is love. They think Daddy must love me, but he hurts me, so hurt equals love. 

Children grow up with that belief deep down inside them as adults.