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Mum wants to take back my savings.?
Okay so I'm 18, in uni and am moving out in about a months time. My bank account was upgraded a couple years ago and I then had access to £1,500 in savings that my mum has added to plus my christening, communion, birthday money, etc. I don't really touch it and when I do I replace it in time other than £500 that was used for car insurance which was agreed.
So on to the situation at hand, I need a guarantor to move out (just for myself, my housemates not included) and asked my mum to be it as she meets the criteria. She refused for a while and then give me the option of if she's to be my guarantor then I give her £500 of my savings to put away then she will be. However, she knows if I give her that then I cannot move out as I'll be using it for rent until my next uni loan instalment is paid as I'm on half of my normal salary due to covid and I have to pay a deposit for the property.
After an argument over the money I told her that no I didn't want her to be my guarantor then as she knew it would mean I couldn't move out. So this continued for a while and she's now demanding that I give her the full grand and a half which I do not have especial since £500 of it is completely gone for things she agreed to.
At the end of the day the vast majority of the money is my own from the celebrations I listed above. Although she's tryna say she's put a fiver a week in since I was born which just doesn't add up in the slightest either.
What should I do?
Just wanted to clear up that I do have more than enough money to move out and I am being paid a grand in mid April and I will be back to work too. However, I'm moving in to my house in mid March. I am moving out for 1 the uni experience, 2 the freedom and 3 because my family life is becoming extremely strained with me living at home and it's better for me to move out before we completely hate each other. My mum and dad are both stable in long standing jobs. I am also moving out with 3 other girl
Another side note, she started this argument infront of one of my flatmates and she has never brought it up before. I'm also going to be getting a lot more money soon from my uni loan and grant as I'll not be dependent on my parents. Yous may think it's rushed but this has been in the works for months.
I did not mean to award favourite to the answer I did. For the record I have a well paying job but due to covid I am getting the bare minimum as we have been shut since Christmas. I would get another job but as I am living under her roof I have a brother to teach whilst doing uni work. So please don't imply that I am a stupid girl asking for handouts because that is one thing I have never done especially since I pay rent. I need to move out before I lose whatever relationship I have with my mum.
- chris nLv 71 month agoFavorite Answer
You are a fool. You don't mind taking all this money from your mother but as soon as she disagrees with you you turn it all into a huge drama....which it isn't. YOU have escalated this small argument to such an extent that hard words have been spoken and now your mother wants all the cash she's put towards your savings over the years. Not exactly rocket science is it and you've been to Uni. You should have gone to silly school instead. Basically she LOVES you and doesn't want to lose you. You aren't as bright as you think you are.....this argument is an illustration on how little you are aware of human nature....and have turned this lack of cash into some HUGE drama. You are waiting for yet another Uni loan. What's to stop you getting a job and putting your earnings into a separate savings account to pay for what you want instead of waiting for handouts. Despite being 18 I don't think you are street-wise enough to move out yet. You don't even know how to be independent at all. It's either mother or Uni for accommodation and only one bank account. Duh???
- MeLv 41 month ago
Don’t give it to her. You’re 18 and moving out
You can only do what she'll agree to, as long as you want her as your guarantor. Or, find another one. Good luck,
- JaneLv 71 month ago
It's true that many landlords demand a guarantor such as a parent, when young people take on a rental contract, especially in a shared student house. However, many will also be happy with over 18's if you can pay a deposit and rent in advance- sounds like you may have enough to do that.
Shop around the area you plan to live in, look beyond landlords that only rent to students, especially as you also have income from a job despite covid.
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You are creating your own issues by being impatient. She is taking on a lot of risk by being the guarantor. You wait until you have enough money saved to move out. While it is your money, draining the little savings you have to move out sooner will just create more problems in the future. Perhaps she's not very confident you will be able to make rent with your current situation so she's trying to make sure you don't put her in a bad situation being the guarantor. She should not have to come up with the extra money to cover you if things don't go to plan. I don't like making assumptions but it doesn't sound like she has a lot of extra money sitting around. If she's living paycheck to paycheck herself you are asking a lot more than you think.
Take all of your money out of the account, close it. Open a new account with just your name on it. Keep looking for someone else to help you or keep looking for a place that does not require a guarantor. Your MUM is playing you, to keep you at home.
You haven't cited any reason why it's essential that you move out right at this moment so Mum is probably just looking at how uncertain the economy is right now and wanting to have a cushion for guaranteeing your rent just in case her financial situation changes (which is highly likely as nations struggle with pandemic devastation to their bottom lines). It's not like there are flatmates waiting on you and it's not like you don't have an income at all. So keep working whatever hours you're able to and save up so you can both reassure Mum and still put the down payment on your own place. It is quite bold and optimistic of you to think this is a good time to move out, perhaps overly so given the current state of things in the UK.
- Alan HLv 71 month ago
Now is not always. Save until you have another £500. Good training for the long term. It may not feel that way now but your Mum is being very wise and supportive
- 1 month ago
I think you are too close to the situation to see what is really going on. This dispute is not about money.
You are planning to move out soon. You need money to do that. Your mother is FULLY AWARE that you need money to move out. Her actions clearly indicate she is doing all she can to make sure that you do not have access to the money you need to move out.
Basically, your mum is not wanting you to move out. Which is EXACTLY why you SHOULD move out...
- sᴛᴀʀsᴇᴇᴅLv 51 month ago
Take whats yours weather she likes it or not. She sounds like a toxic mother. What kind of mother wouldn't want her own child to succeed? Take what's yours and ignore her. Move out and stay away from her.