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Is it true that if he leaves once he'll leave again?
My friends and I met up for coffee. I told them that my ex had contacted me, telling me that he misses me and wants to be in a relationship with me, and wants to meet up to discuss things. I had dated this man for a year and a half but it was the toughest breakup I had. It's been 5 months and he contacted me, we talked over the phone and he seems very regretful that he broke up with me. He had broken up with me because he said that I should find someone close to me (we live in different states so it's long distance). I finish my course in May and will be able to move. Upon the meeting with my friends they all said that if he leaves once, he'll leave again. Is that true?
- Dr. StephanieLv 72 months agoFavorite Answer
It depends upon the individual, of course, there's no set predictability. I can tell you...I once broke up with my guy, whom I'd been seeing for a couple of years. He was heartbroken and tried everything to keep us together, while I remained firm in my decision.
After a long while, he called to tell me his first grandchild had been born. I had planned on going somewhere that wasn't very fulfilling. Instead, we agreed to meet for coffee. He gave me the key to his home and told me to use it whenever I wished.
At that time, he looked a whole lot better than the place I was going, and we started seeing one another again. That was over thirty nine years ago. We have been married this long.
- Anonymous2 months ago
Yes, happened to my friend, she broke up 3 times with my friend
- 2 months ago
If he leaves you then YOU shouldn't take him back. Nothing deader than dead love.
- CoreyLv 52 months ago
With enough rope and chains i can guarantee he will never leave again.
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- Dv8sLv 72 months ago
Yes, it's true, going back is like you're paving the road for his future departure. Returning in submission and you are condoning his bad behavior, which is a green light for him to repeat that behavior. Only you and he know what's best, so don't overthink it, decide with your heart.
- James W.Lv 72 months ago
It's really hard to make long distance relationships work because it’s very difficult to find out what the other person is really like. It’s easy to put on an act (over half of good communication is nonverbal). You need to be participating in a wide variety of wholesome activities together to find out what the other person is really like in all types of situations. Pay special attention to how they react when they don’t get their own way or when something goes wrong.
May I suggest that the first question to ask yourself when considering whether or not to date someone is, “Is this person a strong person?” If they’re not, no matter how much you like them, how much they like you, or how “cute” or “hot” they are, - please don’t date them. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling people who are pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, mouth and money).
My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already), forget about this guy unless he’s a strong person, and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you’re setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.
(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)
Hope this helps!
PS Here are "21 tips that could help you to attract a strong person" from the book True Love Lasts:
1. Take the time and put in the effort to become a strong person yourself (this is the most important tip)
2. Put yourself in as many situations as possible that will allow you to potentially come in contact with other strong people - community service organizations, the library, high school or college clubs, the “Y” or other workout facilities, religious book studies, coffee shops, non-alcoholic parties, bookstores, concerts (wear a good pair of earplugs to protect your ears from permanent hearing loss), co-ed recreational athletic teams, community service projects, mission trips, volunteer service, etc. Try to get to know other people as much as possible without dating
3. Be cheerful, approachable, and friendly - smile regularly to put others at ease (let people see your positive attitude)
4. Take a real interest in getting to know others. Ask people an open-ended question about themselves in order to get them talking. Share things related to what’s been said as needed to keep the conversation going. Then ask them another question
5. Be polite and kind to everyone - even to people who you don’t like or enjoy being around
6. If you decide to not accept a request for a date, do it in a kind way (being rude isn’t a good choice and it doesn’t help you - word about it will get out and you’ll become less approachable)
7. Be confident about yourself - if you’re trying to become a stronger person each day, you already have a lot going for you
8. Be humble - don’t act like you’re Miss Charming or you’re Mr. Wonderful
9. Don’t be concerned about whether or not someone likes you
10. Have the attitude that if someone doesn’t like you - they don’t really know you
11. Take care of yourself by getting enough sleep (at least nine hours for teens, at least seven hours for adults according to the experts), exercising regularly (if approved by your doctor), and eating a healthy diet
12. Develop a good sense of humor - including the ability to laugh at your own mistakes
13. Be known as a hard worker
14. Dress well and dress modestly at the same time (wearing seductive clothing doesn’t attract another strong person)
15. Pay attention to your appearance, but don’t obsess over it (remember that strong people are attracted to other strong people, they’re not too concerned about looks - because they realize that looks fade with age). If you use makeup, make sure it’s not excessive. Use perfumes and colognes sparingly - if at all
16. Truly care about other people
17. Stay in close communication with real friends who can help you through the ups and downs of life and hold you accountable
18. Be patient - real friends can help you with this
19. Persevere - please remember that almost nothing worthwhile is quick and easy. Please don’t settle for dating a weak person
20. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to date you
21. Don’t act desperate for a dateSource(s): True Love Lasts - written with a character emphasis for teens through young adults, Straight Talk About Teen Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 13-19, Straight Talk About Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 20 and up
- Jerry SLv 72 months ago
I agree with your friends.
- garryLv 62 months ago
yep it can happen , just some men like more than 1 for sex . you can take him back but dont expect him to be loyal ...
- 2 months ago
Yep. I have a situation the same. Don’t hope it will work out, take the cold hard facts as soon as possible and move on and start living your life to the fullest until you find someone who is compatible with you.
Take don’t it personally, and just move on and move up, no time to waste, girl!
- AshleyLv 62 months ago
Why do you want an ex back that did you wrong and is currently doing his current girlfriend wrong? He obviously thought you were the problem to break up with you and now he’s not satisfied with his current , so he’s running back to you indicating you weren’t an actual problem. He is obviously the problem here and isn’t fulfilled with just having one girl in his life. It’s an indicator he gets bored in relationships and doesn’t want real commitment.
- MurzyLv 72 months ago
His current GF is not working out. He will leave you again for a new romance.