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why do school counselors play down bullying, or want something to happen before they'd do anything about it?

Why does school counselors play down bullying and want something to happen before they'd do anything about it?

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Counselors aren't the only ones who tend to downplay bullying and related abuses. Virtually every other adult educational professional does this too at some point or other. Why do they do it? There are multiple reasons, but the main one has a lot to do with the fact that it's easier to DENY a problem like bullying than it is to ADMIT to it and actually DO something about it. And there are also adults who actually believe in their heart of hearts that none of the kids in their school are capable of such acts. Add in a culture that treats anyone who is in any way "different" from whatever the accepted or current standard of "normal" or "cool" happens to be as though they were something less than human, and you start to see the reasons why traumatic events such as school shootings happen.

    It never ceases to amaze me how everyone from members of Congress to the law enforcement and education communities to the president of the US continue to call for more gun control because they think that having such laws will prevent school shootings. But all of these people are MISSING THE POINT. They really ARE. Shootings like the ones at Parkland, Florida, and Sutherland Springs, Texas weren't ABOUT GUNS or GUN ACCESS. In fact, NONE of the school shootings that the US has seen over the past 30 years or so have been about guns or gun access. Instead, without exception, they were all motivated by one common denominator: A desire for REVENGE for some ACT OR ACTS, whether REAL OR IMAGINED, on the part of the person or people doing the shooting. Even Columbine, which was originally planned as a BOMBING and not a shooting, was motivated by the killers' desire for REVENGE. They wanted to destroy the school as a way to retaliate for all the years of mistreatment and abuse that they'd endured at the hands of their peers, teachers, the school officials, and yes, even local law enforcement. THAT was why they spent months building homemade bombs and other ordinance, and why they planted such bombs in the cafeteria and library. Their singular goal (as stated in the killers' diaries found after the shooting) was to destroy the school and kill as many people as possible. The only REASON that Columbine became a shooting was because the bombs failed to detonate as planned. Had THAT happened, there would have been HUNDREDS of deaths that day, instead of just 15. But it's obvious that they were motivated by revenge- that, and a desire for publicity, which is what led them to invite Hollywood movie directors Steven Spielberg and Quentin Tarantino to make films about what happened there. (Both directors declined.) Columbine was an event that had many lessons to teach- but sadly, most of those have been largely ignored.

    There is a relationship between bullying and violence, including school shootings. Left unchecked and undeterred, bullying can cause mental illness, and it can lead to kids committing suicide as well as to violent events like shootings. The problem at most schools, however, is that the people who run them generally refuse to recognize this relationship. And because they don't want to recognize it, and they'd rather live in DENIAL about the realities of bullying and abuse, you get people who behave the way the counselors at your school do, and who tend to downplay bullying incidents as though they were no big deal. This has nothing to do with the presence or absence of GUNS, mind you. It's just simply how they act. Eventually, something terrible will happen- but by then it's usually too late to do anything to stop it.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I'm sorry you have to go through this. It's horrible. Bullying is wrong and should not be tolerated. I'm not sure why a counsellor would do this but I know they lack in empathy if that is how they are handling bullying. Perhaps they want proof or something. But they should really be helping you. Have you spoken to teachers about this? Parents? The principal? These are further options if the counsellor is turning a blind eye.

    If you have friends, stay close to them. Try to stay away from the bullies as much as is possible. Perhaps you could try to express worry about your safety to any adult who's willing to listen if you fear for your safety. 

    If it's verbal bullying, try to ignore it. Don't let it get to you. Read on how to keep your confidence and self esteem up. Know your own worth. 

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