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? asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 2 months ago

Did I make the wrong decision by taking my sister out of the bridal party?

My sister is a Bridemaid

. I picked my friend as the maid of honor and no my sister cuz she is always busy. She also has bipolar disorder and refuse to take medication, so it is very difficult to deal with her at times. My sister has been complaining about the dress, shoes, the hair, the makeup. Let me be clear: they can wear any style dress as long is the color I picked and is long. They can have any hair style they want, so I have been really flexible considering how brides can be. She has a child and is unhappy because it is an adults only wedding She abruptly left the bridesmaid chat and when I asked her why, she said that she didn't have to socialize with anyone but me. I texted her yesterday and ask how will it work if the other girls want to reach out to her. She said it won't work. I asked what she meant by that and She said that she is too busy and being a bridemaid is a big responsibility. I haven't asked anything so far besides asking to get the dress on time. I told her I understand she is busy but instead of staying quiet and waiting for me to ask she should have told me. I asked if she will be involved and she said that as long as is "reachable for her" and it was my fault for picking her because I knew she was busy. I was speechless and didn't say anything else. Today she sent a picture of my nephew like nothing happened. I honestly couldn't deal with her nonsense anymore and decided to take her out of the bridal party. What do you think?

17 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    Your bridesmaids/groomsmen should consist of people you are close to and plan on having a relationship with for a long time. Period. End of discussion. 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Hard to know what the general family dynamic is here and whether this will upset your parents. But if she's not upset by it it may save you some stress by not having her in the wedding. TBH I'd be far more worried about someone with untreated mental illness trying to raise a child. 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Ask your sister if she would be more comfortable as a guest, rather than a bridesmaid, at your wedding. 

    Because, in reality, all she has to do is wear the dress she picks out and be punctual on your wedding day. You have other girls to depend on for what you expect from them.

    Your sister's personality has not changed...you KNEW her and asked her to be a bridesmaid anyway. Just stop including her in with everything because as She said, she is busy. So what. You do not NEED her in order to proceed with your wedding plans. She wi ll receive a shower invitation and one to the wedding.

    You need not deal with your sister other than send her invitations. She has no ti me so don't waste your time on details with her. This way, she is out of your hair.

  • 2 months ago

    It sounds like she took herself out.

    So just act like an adult - tell her you totally understand why she can't commit to being a bridesmaid, but you still obviously want her at the wedding to celebrate with you. 

  • 2 months ago

    Unmedicated Bi-polar?  She is lucky to be invited at all.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    I think you are wrong for doing that from what you state here there was no reason for you to take her out of the bridal party.  Even after she told you that she doesn't have to socialize with the rest of the bridesmaids you brought it up again as if you can't understand simple English.  Even though she's a busy person she seems to have been making time for her sister.  Maybe she was wrong for sending a picture of the nephew because you don't seem to care for children...a wedding is a family event where both entire families come together for Love 💕.  How do your parents feel about this... you should be able to depend on family and I personally don't think you are supportive of your sister.

  • 2 months ago

    I think you have done the absolute right thing. By the sounds of things, she is going to cause more and more upset for you, so you are doing the right thing by changing her out. If she doesn't like it, she has no one to blame but herself.

  • drip
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Did you already inform her she is not longer in the bridal party?  

    If you haven’t then tell her. I know you are so busy so if you want to bow out of the wedding party I think that would be fine.  It would relieve any pressure you are feeling and you can be a guest and just enjoy the night. 

    Having known only one person who is bipolar I think it is the best for both of you.

  • 2 months ago

    If she refuses to take her medication, she doesn't really have a leg to stand on. Taking her medication will help her, of course - but it will also make it easier for her friends and relatives.

    You would probably love to have her at your wedding - but the "real" person that she can be - with her medication! Or perhaps some spiritual healing. Try:  https://www.whiteagle.org/what-we-do/healing, for example, or another SAFE healing group or individual. Physical presence is not always necessary.

    Good Luck!

  • ?
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    Ask her if she would PREFER not to be a bridesmaid. Maybe she just doesn't want to. Talk to her and ask how she feels about it, ask how [and if] she wants to be involved. Look you don't HAVE to stick with tradition, you can make a new role

    e.g. "Best Woman" [like a female best man]

    Bride Supporter or "Future Aunt / Godsmother".

    So it sounds like she is stressing about it, so even though you have alreadyu bent over backwards for her, try to find out what is casing her to stress and see if there is something that can be done to let her share [and enjoy] your big day. Hope you have a fantastic wedding.

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