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why am i subservient to some other men?

i'm a male who has had mental health problems through life, i'm now aged 43 and used to have outbursts in public, aggressive outbursts...and because of that i used to get physically assailed/attacked often and humiliated in public..

ive also often struggled with my self confidence and self esteem.....also i'm pretty shy.

anyway, i have had the problem for years of behaving subservient and timid around some other men, like there's this black guy who works at the supermarket i frequent, i am white, and when i interacting with him whilst he is stacking the shelves, i behave very timidly and subservient to him......and afterwards, when ive left the shop i feel annoyed with myself for doing that?

why do i do that and how can i stop being subservient, timid and acting afraid of some other men?

just to say, some of the aggressive outburst i had in the past were towards black guys and i was attacked by many of them at once......could that be one reason for my behaviour?

1 Answer

  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    If you were bullied or sexually assaulted by one race or is common to avoid that race/sex.  I am wondering if you are on the Autism Spectrum but we can only guess.  Print what you wrote and take it to your medical doctor we don't have the right to just guess things.  Maybe the guy at the store can be someone you can befriend so you can turn your negative experiences into a positive one.

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