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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

My step mom goes through my things?

So I'm 19,I live with my dad and step mom and while I was away on a trip to meet a guy and  I found out through my dad that  my step mom was going through my very personal things in my room . I feel furious and very upset.  Does anyone think it's OK? She has the nerve to tell my dad about things I have put away like lube ,condoms etc . She was throwing me a fit the other day on how I grab things that aren't mine and here she is being a snake .

Update:

To the a**hole in the answers section  . I work and pay my own necessities and half of the house bills.   the house we live in isn't even ours

12 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    Front the ***** and tell her to stay out of your stuff, or go through her **** and see how she likes it

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I was going to answer this, but considering you keep calling people answering a**holes, and not one answer deserved this, I should let you figure it out on your own.  Big hint:  Every person in here could tell you she invaded your privacy.  Fine, but this doesn't help you.  Also, if your name isn't on the lease, it's not "we" who rent it.  

  • 2 months ago

    Buy a key lock door know for your room and use it.  They aren't hard to install. Lots of helpful videos for changing door knobs on youtube.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    This would be something to discuss with your father as he's the one who chose to bring this woman into the family. 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    maybe you should move out

  • y
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    As a parent of a 19 year old who is away at college, but still has a room. On college breaks and such still lives with us. I do not like even going into her room to vacuum or pick up a bit after she stayed a weekend. She is now an adult, may still be living with me but going through her stuff is wrong. It is an invasion of privacy. I'm sorry but unless there is some sort of history that requires keeping a watchful eye, it is an overreach.

  • ken
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    that is none of her business and you grown as hell so tell her off and tell her not to touch your shyt

  • edward
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    My parents granted me a small measure of privacy...but of course when i was 19 i was not living at home and i could keep all the condoms i wanted.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Definitely not okay. That stops being acceptable by the time your kid's in high school, unless you fear for their well-being (like looking for drugs or signs that they're cutting).

    As a step-parent, her right to do this is unclear at best. (It makes a difference whether she raised you from your early years or married your dad when you were in your teens, for instance.)

    And then to tattle to your dad, who should have stopped this cold! Outrageous.

    What to do, if your dad won't stand up for you? You have a few choices.

    If you're paying part of the house bills but didn't sign any lease or other obligatory contracts, then you have the option to leave. Renting a furnished room or studio might be preferable to being snooped on. Or it might be awful or unworkable. But at least figure out what it would take if it became necessary and start saving for that day.

    Or you can get super-serious about total privacy. Buy a locking doorknob that matches the rest of the house's knobs, install it yourself, and don't give out keys to either parent. Keep a spare where you can get at it, maybe in the care of a friend. (Reinstall the original when you leave.)

    Or buy yourself multiple lock-able containers like this https://www.sciplus.com/waterresistant-utility-box... or this https://www.sciplus.com/lightweight-plastic-ammo-s... , a couple of padlocks, and keep whatever's nobody's business in them. These can, of course, be taken in their entirety and broken open.

    Got an army surplus store in town? Buy metal ammo cases or other metal boxes that can be locked. Nobody's getting in.

    Or invest in something you'll use all your adult life: a fireproof safe. Keep what's private in it now. Later, keep important papers, valuables, spare cash, etc. protected.

    It would not be out of line to have a serious conversation with you father about boundaries.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I've been working since I was 15 and right now I'm paying off my own college, half of the bills ,necessities.  We are renting the place we are in for any smart asses.

    The lady doesn't even work for crying out loud . She told me I wasn't taught respect and values !

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