My husband tries to make me feel bad about a dress i picked out for a wedding. he's constantly picking on my figure. what should i do?

Question

I'm not fat but not skinny either. I'm curvy but i do have a bit of a stomach. I picked out a lovely dress from bloomingdales to wear for my cousin's wedding and my husband went on and on about how the dress won't look right on me and how i should pick an age appropriate dress because of my figure. It was a gown that covered my back. I know i'm not super young being 45 but I still don't want to look like an old old women either. He said I should get an older woman looking dress. 

Answer 1

He feels insecure that other men might hit in you .

Answer 2

Get some shape wear and model the dress with that on under it. Maybe if you pull in some of these "curves" he'll feel better about the dress. 

Answer 3

I'm sure the dress is beautiful. It's a shame you have a husband who thinks it's kind and okay to criticize you.  I'm really sorry you are living with that.  I know he'd be history because i'm sure this isn't the only thing he gets on your case about.  It's sad

Answer 4

Perhaps he thinks the dress doesn't flatter you. That's my guess. 

Answer 5

What sort of husband tries to make his wife feel bad? It seems like he has succeeded, too! Do you choose his clothes? Does he dictate what you cook or anything else? He needs to learn to accept you as you are and not try to change you! Making suggestions is one thing, but criticism is another. 

Reading books like Dr Phil McGraw's excellent Relationship Rescue helps to give us deeper insights into how relationships work. As he writes, it isn't only for people whose relationships are in trouble. Also how to get reluctant partners to read it. There are other excellent books, of course.Good Luck!

Answer 6

Has he always been cranky and mean or is this a recent thing? If it's recent, he might be afraid of losing you to another man. When men get older, they start getting more insecure about themselves because they know they're turning gray, losing hair, putting on weight, they start having health problems or "performance" issues in bed, and they start seeing their own parents age and/or pass away. If you have children, they are probably growing up and soon there will be no reason for you to stay with him - or so he thinks. Maybe? 

You could try talking to him about it. Or tell him you'll wear what you like, and he can take it off of you after the wedding. 

Answer 7

You COULD find a lover.  This lover would undoubtedly be more complimentary than your husband.  I don't know what is wrong with him. 

Answer 8

Hand him the divorce papers. A guy should never say anything negative about a womans' figure. If your husband can't appreciate your looks then it is time for him to hit the road. 

Answer 9

Just from what you wrote and not seeing a photo I would guess that you want to feel younger then your age and may have picked a dress that is too tight or too low cut. Your thinking dresses are either young or very old. Not true. There are plenty of dresses that don't look slutty and don't look OLD. They look feminine and ageless. Go back to the store and ask for sales help to find something with those two factors. You AND your husband should be happy with how you look. And let him see you in your choices at the store. 

Answer 10

Lets see if he refuses to go to the wedding with you. I would not go.