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Should I keep my small savings secret from husband?
My husband and I have a pre-nup (he requested this before marriage). In the 5yrs we have been married, he has been the one making most money because Ive had difficulties finding stable jobs. I'm a freelancer and there high and low seasons, so my husband pushed me into becoming his "assistant" at work, where I get to do the things he doesn't have time to do (he works for a company that approved this) , so this creates difficulties between us as well because he mixes private and work life.
We have a baby. Im the one up at nights, and taking care of him from 7am to 2pm. After 2pm I have to work, and dad takes care now and then, but I stil need to breastfeed and put baby to sleep for naptime. So as you can see, I barely have time to work and do my own things.
My husband has now received a money from a lawsuit, and he decided to buy a house. We did search together, and when we found it, he wanted the house to be on his sole name. That is fine, it's his money. But later he offered me if I wanted to be co-owner by percentage, according to what I can pay on a monthly basis. I accepted this, but I will own only about 10% of the value of the house. It feels not right, but I will not complain because we have a prenup.
I managed to make a one time project for around 8k recently, and I have it in a separate account. I want to keep this as my savings without him knowing . If we one day divorce, I won't have a thing.
What are your thoughts on this situation?
- Elaine MLv 71 month agoFavorite Answer
What does your prenup say about income after marriage? Usually it only covers who owns what BEFORE marriage.
If you're his assistant he got approval for you should be pulling a paycheck from that company.
By law he owes you child support till the kids reach age 18. Prenup or no.
Talk to a lawyer. You should not be being kept in poverty as a married spouse. Having your own savings account should not need to be secret or infringed on by him.
Your situation sounds close to financial slavery. Take a copy of the prenup to a lawyer and find out your legal rights.
- 1 month ago
It seems like you got a lot of good feedback but my point is to tell you to be smart next time. Perhaps seek help from close family members before getting caught up in financial and emotional abuse. You seem like a woman to knows enough to want to be helped. Most people dont want help cause of pride but you seem different. Just think if me as a cool friend who comes in every now and then who comes to check up and give you reality check sometimes. I am somewhat of a free lancer myself but I try to freelance through soulful work and meditation
- Brian McilweeLv 51 month ago
READ what Elaine M. wrote. Read that twice. That is one VERY SMART person and that is great advice.
Follow that advice.
- Christin KLv 71 month ago
Your husband treats you like a business colleague or a tenant, not a life-partner. If that's okay with you, then so be it--but you will have nothing if you buy into this house 'deal' at 10%. No--don't reveal your savings to your husband, and keep saving--you're going to need it later.
So what if you have a pre-nup? That's no excuse for being treated like you aren't worth his time and effort. Like I said, if you accept that, it's on YOU--but I certainly wouldn't. He's a jerk. .I hope someday you realize that.
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- STEVEN FLv 71 month ago
If you keep ANY financial information from your husband, you have ALREADY begun the process of NOT being married, at least subconsciously.
he wanted the house to be on his sole name
He has ALSO financially divorced you.
Note: Legally, ownership is 100% what is WRITTEN on the deed. Any verbal agreement about ownership of real property is legally NULL AND VOID.
- Nifty BillLv 71 month ago
What kind of real marriage requires a pre-nup? You provide him sexual relief and he dictates everything? You lose your leverage at "I DO". I suggest you add to your secret account because you and the baby will need it soon enough----bet me.
- 1 month ago
my own opinion be sincere with him if he mess up you will find favour of God, from your story he is sincere with you except house issue that he put his sole name on it.the first money that you have give him
- EvaLv 71 month ago
You have a very controlling husband. If you are going to contribute to the mortgage, your name needs to be on the deed. His verbal agreement means nothing. I'd think twice about being offered such a low percentage. You might be better off letting him keep the house 100% and making the payments. Your husband will know about the money you earned because it has to be reported on your taxes, That said, you should certainly keep the money in a separate account. Everyone should have an emergency fund and money that they don't need permission from their spouse to spend.
- hamel5Lv 71 month ago
Keep it separate. If this is a real story, I wouldn't be surprised if you two end up divorced in the near future.
- Anonymous1 month ago
My thoughts are that you are an incessant troll and that everyone here is sick of you.