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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 month ago

Am I a friend or a project?

I've been friends with a couple, let's call them X and Y for years. X and I dated and ended things about a year before X and Y got together; it did feel like a slap in the face but I figured we're all adults, after some time it'll seem less so.

Before X and Y began dating when all 3 of us were only friends they used to treat me the same as they did one another, we'd do normal friend things, support each other with our own lives and generally just enjoy each other's company.

After X and Y started dating this changed big time. For no reason they started treating me like a complete simpleton and a child. They now refuse to talk to me about "adult topics" (I'm 27 years old, they're 30), they don't support my life choices and constantly try to tell me how to live my life and actually make plans about my personal life behind my back together, then inform me of what they have decided for me to do. To the extent that when I asked where the nearest bus stop is they retreated to their bedroom behind closed doors to discuss it and came and told me which bus i was catching at what time and where to. I feel more like a project they like to try and fix when I don't need or want it. I've said this to them a few times, but get a response like a parent would give a 7 year old when they say they can look after themselves. 

So my question is this, do I keep putting up with this and trying to explain why it's upsetting and humiliating or just accept they've changed and leave with some dignity?


You would think so from their actions, but when I distance myself from them they constantly message wanting to catch up because "they miss me" 

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Leave with dignity.  New friends will, probably, be just around the corner but, if they are not, it doesn't hurt to be without friends for a short time whilst you sort out your thoughts and feelings.

  • keerok
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Or are they trying to push you away already?

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