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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

I changed my mind on having sex, what do I do? ?

I've been talking to this guy for 2 months. We've only hung out once and he was a gentleman and I had a great time. We talk everyday and I really like him. He really wants to have sex and I told him I wanted to as well, and we made plans last weekend and I ended chickening out canceling and making an excuse. Well we're supposed to hangout tomorrow and do that and ive been kinda excited all week but now I'm really getting scared again and idk what to tell him. I dont want to cancel on him again but I feel pressured. What should I do in this situation? 

11 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Then don't have sex just tell him you don't want to do that. 

  • 1 month ago

    My suggestion is that you rise up, be strong and tell this guy in a firm but kind way that you are no longer interested in seeing him. He is showing you loud and clear that he's not a strong guy.

    Please stay strong and save yourself for marriage. If you do, you’ll never regret it. Sex is unbelievably powerful and the chemicals in the brain that are released during it can cause you to become bonded to someone who you don't want to be bonded to. Here’s some information about sex before marriage from the books True Love Lasts, Straight Talk About Teen Dating, and Straight Talk About Dating:

    Having sex before marriage can be harmful to you and to your future. This harm could possibly include things like:

    - not feeling good about yourself

    - finding out that having sex causes people to become emotionally attached way too quickly

    - sex becoming the main focus of your relationship

    - finding out that having sex makes people ignore serious problems in the person they’re dating, serious problems that could destroy a marriage

    - failing to realize that dating relationships which have sex as their main focus usually don’t last - until the relationship falls apart

    - not learning to have real communication with each other, to be in touch with the your positive and negative feelings and the feelings of your significant other, to resolve conflicts in a calm constructive manner, to really get to know what your significant other is like in all situations because you’re spending too much time having sex

    - not feeling good about choosing to have sex after your boyfriend or girlfriend says “I love you” and then later finding out he or she was lying to you just to get sex or he or she just has the feeling of being “in love” instead of true love (true love is supposed to be a lifelong commitment)

    - feeling that you need to keep having sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend or else they’ll break up with you - even though you don’t feel good about it

    - finding out that having sex makes people stay in dating relationships much longer than they should

    - making the bad choice to stay in a relationship that you know isn’t good for you because you’re having sex

    - being broken hearted after your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you

    - becoming an angry person after having your heart broken

    - becoming depressed or possibly even suicidal after having your heart broken (please see a professional counselor immediately if you feel depressed or suicidal)

    - feeling that you can’t trust anyone anymore after you’ve had your heart broken

    - feeling horrible that you broke your boyfriend or girlfriend’s heart when you broke up with them

    - getting into the habit of jumping from one sexual relationship to another looking for true love and sadly never finding it

    - getting a sexually transmitted disease (a CDC study shows that 25% of sexually active teenage girls have at least one STD)

    - getting pregnant

    - becoming a single mother (guys often don’t marry their pregnant girlfriends)

    - having a child who doesn’t have a stable male role model in their life

    - becoming more hesitant about making a lifelong marriage commitment to another person after having your heart broken

    - ending up having problems relating sexually to your husband or wife in marriage because of the sex you had with them (and possibly with others) before marriage

    - becoming divorced (statistics show that couples who have sex before marriage are more likely to get divorced than couples who don’t have sex before marriage)

    (Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

    Hope this helps!

    PS My first suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already). A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), puts forth their best effort, and displays self-control (of their body, anger, tongue and money). A strong man will choose to put aside his sexual desires before marriage because he knows it's best for the long-term health of the relationship.

    My second suggestion is that you eventually look for this type of person (otherwise you are setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of person is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.

    PPS If all of what I've just written is baloney, then why did a person write a comment about one of my other answers (it was similar to this answer) that read: "I'm literally crying right now while reading what you wrote. I can relate to everything you said."

    Source(s): True Love Lasts - written with a character emphasis for teens through young adults, Straight Talk About Teen Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 13-19, Straight Talk About Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 20 and up
  • Joy
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    He's put in two months and hung out with you once, now he wants his reward, sex.  

    You know it's the wrong thing to do, your little voice inside is trying to stop you.and protect you.  Listen to it.

    A real gentleman would not put you in this position.

    Don't have sex with him, you'll regret it and only get hurt.

    Hope you stay true to yourself and just say no and be very proud you did.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You have to tell him the truth. Never tell a guy you wanna have sex unless you mean it. Before you hang out again, tell him that even though you said you wanted it, you thought more about it and decided that it’s too soon and you would rather take things slow. You need to tell him what your expectations are. I don’t know exactly what your reason is, but be honest. If you want to wait until you’re in a committed relationship, or just spend a little more time getting to know each other, or you’re just nervous or self conscious, you need to tell him. Don’t play games and jerk him around, or wait until he’s got his hand up your skirt to have this conversation. Make your intentions clear before you hang out. Guys really don’t like it when you get their hopes up for sex and then refuse to do it. Just give him an idea of what it is you’re waiting for. Otherwise he may just get frustrated and think you’re jerking him around. If you tell him when you might feel comfortable having sex, he will be less like to pressure you every time he sees you, and know that it’s something that will happen in the future. If he’s a gentleman, he won’t try to pressure you. He may ask and hope you change your mind, but if he respects you, he will still hang out with you and wait till you’re ready. If he gets aggressive, set him straight and leave. Until you decide to have sex, I don’t suggest any making out or fooling around. Kissing and touching will only make him horny. I’m sure he’d appreciate a BJ if you’re willing though. Just don’t start anything you don’t plan to finish.

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  • donnie
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Then don't have sex just tell him you don't want to do that. 

  • 2 months ago

    send him a picture of you can only hold out on sex for so long before a guy becomes frusttrated with you...even if he is the nicest guy in the world

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Stop agreeing to sex. Unless you're fully committed to having sex don't agree. Buy him dinner as an apology.

  • Dick
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You have been jerking this guy around for two months. If you were serious, you would have had sex within a few days. You are a tease. You are playing games. Either put out or prepare to find another BF. No normal man is going to stand for these games for long.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Just open your legs is not like you are still virgin 

  • Susie
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Anyone who tells you that they want to have sex the second time you “hang out” is using you.  

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